Arlen’s Birth Story.

It’s been two weeks since we became a family of four. Arlen Jack arrived at 38 weeks, ready and eager to take on the world.

The day before Arlen arrived.

Sunday September 22nd I woke up and noticed bright red spotting in my first trip to the bathroom. I thought it was strange I had not experienced bleeding during my pregnancy. I walked over to the den and told my husband who immediately said that Arlen was going to be born that day.

All day I waited for another sign that our little boy was ready but apart from feeling a little extra tired everything was normal. Nico and I decorated the porch to welcome fall the following day and did some fall arts and crafts.

In the afternoon I decided to take a nap, which actually meant laying in bed with pillows around me while my preschooler watched his iPad at full volume next to me. Again, I felt tired but no contractions yet.

7:30 PM

It was around 7:30 p.m. that I felt my first contraction. It was very mild. I went on to put Nico to bed, and then headed out to the garage for my workout. I did indoor cycling for about 40 minutes and remember feeling one contraction during that time. Again another contraction during my shower after the workout.

It was 10:32 p.m. when I began to record my contractions because I felt like they were getting closer. The next one followed at 10:47. My husband was already asleep and I had yet to tell him I had started to feel contractions because I was convinced it wasn’t the real thing.

The contractions continued, 11:21, 11:51, 12:06, 12:16.

The Real Thing.

The next thing I remember is being woken up about an hour later. 1:41 am marked the next contraction. 1:51, 1:59, 2:11. My husband woke up at some point during these contractions since every time one came I would quickly grab my phone to write the time down. He asked if it was time and silly me still told him not to worry, to go to sleep so he could go to work in the morning. I told him I had a doctor’s appointment the next morning to get checked and I would take my mom with me in case I didn’t feel well.

He didn’t listen to me and stayed awake. The contractions were still sometimes 10 minutes apart, sometimes a little longer. Around 3:30 AM I decided to call labor and delivery because the contractions felt between 10 and 8 minutes apart.

They told me to wait it out a bit longer and advised for me to get into the bathtub to ease the pain. My husband quickly filled up our tub and after helping me get in started to get ready for the day. He prepared his hospital bag and started sending out emails for his work knowing he wouldn’t make it in the next morning.

I was in the bathtub for a little over two hours. The contractions were still not getting any closer. My son woke up around 5:40 a.m., completely taken back by seeing mom in pain in the bathtub. He was talking to me about school and what outfit he wanted to wear. That’s when I felt the contractions getting stronger.

The contractions continued: 5:54, 6:01, and 6:09. The last contraction I wrote down was 6:14 a.m. That’s the time that I asked my husband to take me to the hospital because I was not going to wait any longer.

7:00 AM

We made it to the hospital around 7 am. The pain was unbearable. They had me fill out some paper and I could barely hold the pen. When we finally made it into triage and the nurse checked me she told us I was fully dilated. I was still in pain, a lot of pain. I remember grabbing her arm and telling her “I need an epidural.” It was almost as if I was pleading to her.

She proceeded to tell us that an epidural was probably out of the question for me. That it would take about 40 minutes to prepare me to get an epidural and since I was fully dilated it was probably best I just start pushing.

Admitted.

After being admitted it’s all a blur in my memory. Everything seemed to go fast and slow at the same time.

I was wheeled in the triage bed to the delivery room next door. In between contractions the nurses managed to transfer me onto the delivery bed, attach the IV and the heart rate monitor for the baby.

I remember I started pushing as the nurses were trying to attach the name tags and get my initial paperwork ready. The pain was horrible, intense, something I never want to experience again.

I felt pressured, despite pushing with all of my might nothing happened. The nurses kept on telling my doctor that the woman giving birth across the hall was a push away and she needed to go see her. I heard her say something about bringing the intern to take care of me because the other lady would deliver before I did. I felt overwhelmed, I was not prepared for an unmedicated birth. The pain was horrible, I was trying my best and it wasn’t enough.

Eventually another doctor walked into my room and took over. The funny thing is that I had seen this doctor at one of my monthly visits and I had not liked him but I was now relieved he was taking over my delivery instead of an intern.

I pushed for about an hour. At one point the doctor realized that Arlen was faceup (posterior position) which was making it more difficult for me to push him out. The doctor rotated him during one of my pushed and as we waited for the next contraction to push again Arlen rotated back to posterior position. I felt like giving up. I remember in between cries telling my husband that I was sorry, that I couldn’t do it. Arlen’s heart rate began to get low. I began to feel really hot and a second later very cold.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” I continued to cry. I remember everything hurt. The pressure of the doppler measuring Arlen’s heartbeat felt like a pile of bricks on my stomach. “Stop holding it down.” I told a nurse who told me she was sorry but had to hold it down so we could get the baby’s heartbeat registered.

I pushed for about an hour.

8:24 AM

I continued to feel hot and cold within seconds. I could see my husband’s worried face. It started getting difficult for me to breathe. The seconds before Arlen was born I remember taking in three quick breaths, and pushing with what little air I had. It was then that I finally heard the doctor say “Look up, look at your baby, look at your baby.”

I asked my husband if he was finally out and once he said yes I collapsed on the bed. I was shivering, my body felt cold. I am positive I would have passed out after that last push if he hadn’t been born. I couldn’t breathe anymore. The doctor continued to say “look at your baby, look at your baby,” but I just wanted to hear that he was out and safe.

Arlen Jack was born at 8:24 AM on Monday September 24, 2019 weighing 7 pounds and measuring 16 inches long. He had the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck and the doctor had to cut it as soon as I pushed him out.

Unmedicated.

I never planned or even imagined an unmedicated birth. I was in so much pain I could not enjoy my son’s birth. I felt in shock for the days following his birth.

About a week after Arlen’s birth as I relived everything in my head I began to cry. I felt selfish. Nico had been worried my whole pregnancy that something was going to happen to me when we went to the hospital to have little brother. I thought about how things could have escalated and in trying to give him a little brother he could have ended without a sibling or a mom.

After Arlen’s birth I was so glad my husband and I had decided he would be our last because honestly the thought of possibly going through another unmedicated birth scares me.

For now, I am thankful my little boy and I are home safe getting used to our new family of four. I am also extremely thankful for my husband who stayed strong through it all.